Lost and Found

Yesterday was an amazing day.  I love it when something good happens that is so totally unexpected.

Okay, let me start at the beginning.  A couple weeks ago, a good friend of mine posted a picture of a Lahsa Apso dog.  She stated that he was a lost dog that had showed up on her doorstep.  He has no collar and she hadn't seen any pictures posted around the neighborhood.  Unfortunately, they already had a dog and didn't need another one due to the very busy schedule that their family had.  My hubby took pity on him and told them we would take him.  He figured since Elisabeth had her kitty and Max had his dog, this one could be Ethan's. 

So that Friday night, they brought him over to us.  Our Jack Russell, Charlie, is a friendly dog and they started playing immediately.  Since Will and Max named Charlie, it was up to Ethan and me to name this one.  We started throwing out different names and finally narrowed it down to seven and then down to one ... Ethan and I determined his new name would be Oliver.  To us it just seemed to fit.

Well, fast forward to this past Monday (October 24) ...  I found myself on a local Lost and Found facebook page.  Of course being curious, I started looking through all the pictures.  I came to about the tenth picture and I was amazed to see a picture of a little dog that looked JUST like Oliver.  The description said that he was lost in the same neighborhood as my friend and ironically, his name was Charlie.  I call my hubby to see what he thought but he wasn't at his desk.  I left a message for him and yelled to the kids to come look.  We were all four intently staring at this tiny picture trying to determine if it was him or not, when hubby called me back.  He looked at the picture and agreed with us.  It just had to be him.

I call the number that was listed with the posting but didn't get an answer.  I left a message and waited.  It wasn't long before I received a return call.  I told her that I thought I had her dog.  We talked a few moments, trying to determine if he was or not.  I got the idea to send her a picture via a text.  But the picture was slow going through, so I told her to just come look at him.  If it was her dog then awesome but if not, that was okay too.

The picture text must have gone through a few moments after we hung up because she called back crying.  She was so emotional telling me that it was indeed her lost dog.  She was so so happy that someone had found her beloved little dog.

I made sure that our Charlie was outside when she arrived so that there wouldn't be any disruption when she saw her dog for the first time in over a month.  The reunion between them was wonderful.  We opened the door and Oliver/Charlie went right to her.  She bent down and loved on him with such overwhelming emotion!!  We determined that he had been gone for 10 days when my friend found him and then we had had him since then. 

When she and her son left cradling Charlie, it was such a wonderful feeling.  I was thrilled to know that he had been reunited with his brother, Cookie and the family who loved him so very much.

What an amazing and awesome day!!

Infiltration

Webster's Dictionary defines "infiltration" as something that permeates...

Ever notice just how much children "infiltrate" our lives? From the very moment that a couple starts even talking about having children, they consume our every thought. From the trying to the pregnancy then from pregnancy to the delivery. But are we really prepared for how much they take over our lives? Even if someone had warned us, I don't think that we would have truly understood. Every waking moment, and some non-waking moments, are consumed with the caring and raising of said children.

From the moment I became pregnant the first time, I have had a child with me. Everywhere I go and everywhere I am. Yes, there have been the rare moments (ie: dr appointments) where I have been alone. But I would say that 99.9% of the time, I have at least one child with me and many times I have four. Sometimes, I think I have forgotten what it is like to only hear my thoughts.

This said infiltration goes even into every aspect of life. We buy our vehicles in proportion to how many kids we need to transport. We plan our dinners out to what the kids will eat. We plan our vacations around what our kids enjoy. Our weeknights and weekends revolve around the extracurricular activities that each child participates in. When it is time for the purchasing of seasonal clothing, we invariably buy for our children first and then if there is anything left, we might buy for ourselves.

I can't sit down unless I am ready for one or more to come sit or crawl on me. A trip to the bathroom is never done alone because invariably one of them will need something that (in their mind) just cannot wait or that is the very moment needs a hug.

Now that we are homeschooling, I am with them even more. They spend all morning in the "schoolroom" working very hard ... each with their own lessons. While I bounce between the three of them instructing and answering questions. Occasionally, I can slip off the the bathroom, throw in a load of laundry or do the dishes.

The boys are getting very close to having their birthdays. It isn't that I don't know what to get them...I just don't know when I am going to shop for birthday gifts...they are always with me.

But ya know ... This is my life. I chose it. I chose to be a SAHM and a homeschool teacher. I know it won't last forever. I know that it won't be long and they will be driving themselves around doing their own thing, coming home only to eat and sleep. I know that these moments are fleeting and there will come a day when I will miss them standing at the bathroom door wanting me to snap their jeans or give them a hug. I will miss it when I sit down and there isn't a small body that flings him/herself on me just because they need to be near me. And the nightly prayers and tuck-ins will be a thing of the past. A trip to the grocery store won't be a monumentous occasion because I will be wandering the aisles by myself. But for now...I treasure the wild and chaotic times as well as the quiet moments with each of them.

And since I chose this life...I don't complain even thought most evenings/nights, I am utterly exhausted.

And since I chose this life...I snuggle my sweet children close even though my mind and body is screaming "get off of me."

And since I chose this life...I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love you Elisabeth, Max and Ethan!!!

Attitude of Gratitude

Why is it hard to find an attitude of gratitude?

Granted we come into this world very selfish but why can't we be thankful? It is so hard to be grateful??

I mean, it isn't like we don't have things to be thankful for but yet we aren't. Is it easier to just taking those things for granted? I hope not because one day those things we hold dear may no longer be there.

Before bedtime every night at our house, we require the kids to tell us what they are thankful for. Therefore, I am going to do the same...

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

* My heavenly Father
* Being alive
* My health
* My beloved husband
* Three healthy and beautiful children
* Hubby's job
* My church
* That we can send our children to a private school
* Our warm home
* My family
* Our wonderful friends
* Reliable vehicles that get us where we need/want to go
* My city/town
* Sleep
* Sunshine
* Flowers
* The weekend away Hubby won, which we will take next March
* Butterflies which my daughter so loves
* Eagles which my son admires
* Giraffes which my second son favors
* All the other wonderful animals God has created

This by no means is a complete list. It continues to grow and expand. I am so blessed by God. He has given me a wonderful hubby, kids, family, friends and excellent health.

So for this Thanksgiving holiday and beyond, I choose to have an attitude of gratitude!! I hope that my attitude will teach my children to have the same.

Finding Me...

Why is it so hard to take care of me?

I have no problem taking care of my husband. In fact, I really enjoy it. Not fond of cleaning house but I enjoy puttering about, doing this and that, washing clothes, making beds, planning and organizing.

I have no problem taking care of my kids. Fixing them meals, teaching preschool homeschooling, doing laundry, being a taxi, giving baths, and picking up toys, etc.

But I can't seem to allow myself to take care of the woman/mom. I usually have good intentions to have girl time but it never happens. Partly because most of my friends have super busy lives and getting us all together is almost impossible. It is also because I tend to feel guilty. Yeah, I know I shouldn't but it is hard not to. I am a mom and a wife... there are things to do, kids to take care of, lunches/dinners to make, laundry to do, errands to run...Right? Well, right but after a while, I feel a little ragged. A little worn out and worn down.

So how do we as women find the time to make time for ourselves? Cuz, I tell ya...it isn't easy. I mean, I signed up to be a wife and mother. I don't ever want to shirk my duties. I take them very seriously!! :) But I also have to remember, I am still a woman in amongst the other titles.

This past Friday, I managed to go with a friend just the two of us. We went shopping... Not for things for the children (although she did find things for her girls) but for ourselves. It was amazing!!! We were able to just amble along, stop where we wanted, browse around, try things on, and just chat...no kids, no diaper bags, no strollers, no one to have to make sure has gone potty, no on pulling on me or yelling "Momma." It was like a breath of fresh air - a sense of rejuvenation. I was able to hear my own thoughts and some of them I forgot I even had rolling around in there. :D

That night, Hubby and I met up with my shopping friend and her hubby for a dinner date. Dinner without kids is a rare experience and very much treasured. To be able to sit on the same side with hubby and sit snuggled with him waiting on friends and food was pure bliss. I was able to sit and savor my food without having to urge kids to eat or run them to the bathroom.

So, while my duties as mom and wife are foremost right now, I believe that I need to remind myself every so often that I am still a woman and need time to myself. Look in the mirror and say to that strong woman "Let go of the guilt, remember and enjoy who you are. You are a better wife and a better mom by taking care of the woman buried inside."

Proud as Punch

As parents we are naturally proud of our children and look for every opportunity to "brag" on them. So, I am taking this chance to say just how very proud of my children I am!! They are far exceeding anything that is put in front of them!! My heart swells just a the thought of them and their achievements in the short years they have graced us with their presence.

Ethan is almost three... He has been potty trained since he was a little over 2. He has a huge vocabulary and speaks in complete sentences. He is bold and tenacious. There isn't anything he can't do when he puts his mind to it.

Max who will be five in a week is such a gentle and sensitive young boy. He is already sounding out words and reading as well as writing the alphabet and he hasn't even been to kindergarten yet. He has a natural ear for music and is picking up the guitar very well for his young age. I can't wait to see how he develops over the next few years.

Elisabeth, my one and only girl and so very like myself. So gentle and quiet, a friend to all. She continues to amaze me with everything she sets her hand to do. She came out of first grade reading on a sixth grade level. A graceful ballerina who just this past weekend captures a part as a mouse in the Tulsa Ballet Theater's Nutcracker!!

I pray that each one grows and develops to their fullest potential. I will be there to catch them when they fall as well as pushing them back out to achieve more.

God give me the grace to allow them to fail, the calmness to guide them through and the humbleness to be proud of them when they achieve their highest goals but yet not be arrogant.

Thank you God for the three beautiful blessings you have given Will and I and help us be the best parents that we can be.

Fall is Knocking

There is a knock at the back door...Fall is creeping in and I am loathe to answer. As a general rule I don't mind fall. In fact, I am usually grateful for it because of the blistering temps that usually reign around here. And here in the midwest, we can usually expect them last even into September. But it is still August and amazingly we had a cool/cold front move through bringing cool mornings and superbly mild days. A huge change from the triple digits the week before.

I know that Autumn heralds the start of school as well as the coming arrival of the holidays but I have a hard time letting go of summer. I love the painted toes peeking out of sassy sandals, the soft and flowing sundresses, the gorgeous colors of flowers, the smell of cut grass, the deep blue sky and the fluffy white clouds. And there is nothing like colors of a rainbow after a warm summer rain.

So right now, I can look behind me and see the trail that my heels are leaving as they are being drug into the next season. I honestly enjoy Fall...the cooler temps, the feel of crunchy leaves under foot, the smell of those first fireplace fires rising from the chimneys, pulling out the cozy sweaters, comfy jeans and sexy boots BUT I seriously dread winter.

There is nothing about winter that appeals to me. The beautiful colors of the other three season is gone. The trees and grass are barren and dead. The sky, when the sun actually does shine, is a very pale almost non-existent blue. The biting and painfully cold temperatures make me want to hibernate. Plus, I HATE to wear a coat and buckling a bundled-up child into a carseat is a feat that only the well-trained should even attempt.

But thankfully everything changes and that after we endure another bleak winter...spring and summer will be right around the corner once again to renew our faith and refresh our souls. Until then, I just will meet the wind head on and stand strong.

The End...or the Beginning?

How do you know when something has come to an end? Is it just over or do you know that the end is coming and you are prepared for it? Or maybe it is both.

I always knew from the time I was a small child that I wanted children. Getting married and becoming a mom was at the top of my list of childhood dreams. I never knew that the road to achieving that dream would be a difficult one. To begin with, I married later that I had "planned" to. But that was okay, he was worth waiting for!!

The next three years were finishing college and working, so when we did start we were well into our 30s. The next two years of trying to conceive were heartbreaking as we both wanted a little baby so very badly. We truly believed that God wanted us to have children and just kept believing He would answer our prayers. Our dreams were realized with the birth of our daughter, Elisabeth Nichole. Knowing it could take a while, we started trying for the second when Elisabeth was only 6 weeks old. True to the pattern, it took another two years of continuous and many times heartbreaking trying. Two years and seven months after the arrival of Elisabeth, Matthew Alexander (Max) made his debut. We were thrilled and in love with both our children.

Before we were even married, we picked out a boy name and a girl name. We were agreed that we both wanted two children. Now we had them and yet I still had a burning desire for more. I loved being pregnant and missed it once it was over. It was like I couldn't get enough. It was a drug that I was addicted to. I loved everything that had to do with pregnancy and babies. Don't get me wrong, I was happy and content with the two I had but just wasn't sure if it was the end. Not knowing if it was just that I had enjoyed being pregnant and being a mom so much that I wanted to keep doing it. Or if we were really meant to have more.

Well, God knew... When Max was 18 months old, we were surprised by the fact that #3 was going to arrive in nine months. Yet once again, after Ethan Zane made his arrival, I had that burning desire for more. Will and I had agreed that even though Ethan was a surprise and so very wanted, three was more than enough. So why did I still have that yearn? Would it always be there? Would I be 60 years old and still wanting more children? I didn't want to be one of those moms with a dozen children. I wanted to be able to afford private school. To spend quality time with each of them and not feel like I was spread thinner than thin. As it is, I never have any time to myself.

It wasn't that we didn't want any more but we agreed that as older parents we wanted to be able to concentrate on the three beautiful children God gave us. But even holding little ones belonging to friends made me long for more. I couldn't take anymore. I had to pray "God, either Will and I need to agree that we have more or this feeling needs to go!! I can't continue to yearn and ache for more children that I know I can't have."

Now it is 2010, Elisabeth is 7, Max is almost 5 and Ethan is almost 3 ... I can say that I feel the "end" is finally here. Our home is less and less babyfied. No more cribs, high chairs, bouncy seats, or pack-n-plays. The further we move away from the baby stage, the more I know that chapter is closed. It is kind of bittersweet in that so much of my life was getting to this point that looking ahead is kind of daunting. I am content to hold little babies and then return them to their mothers. I will babysit when necessary but this incubator is closed.

Thank you God for giving me a beautiful family. Thank you for the three blessings that continue to enrich my life each and every day. Thank you for the life partner you have given me in whom I am securely nestled in his heart. Thank you God for the peace I have in the life I now live. I am blessed beyond words and as I watch my children grow, change and develop, I thank you for each stage of life. I also thank you that I will be ready for each one as it arrives.