Finding Me...

Why is it so hard to take care of me?

I have no problem taking care of my husband. In fact, I really enjoy it. Not fond of cleaning house but I enjoy puttering about, doing this and that, washing clothes, making beds, planning and organizing.

I have no problem taking care of my kids. Fixing them meals, teaching preschool homeschooling, doing laundry, being a taxi, giving baths, and picking up toys, etc.

But I can't seem to allow myself to take care of the woman/mom. I usually have good intentions to have girl time but it never happens. Partly because most of my friends have super busy lives and getting us all together is almost impossible. It is also because I tend to feel guilty. Yeah, I know I shouldn't but it is hard not to. I am a mom and a wife... there are things to do, kids to take care of, lunches/dinners to make, laundry to do, errands to run...Right? Well, right but after a while, I feel a little ragged. A little worn out and worn down.

So how do we as women find the time to make time for ourselves? Cuz, I tell ya...it isn't easy. I mean, I signed up to be a wife and mother. I don't ever want to shirk my duties. I take them very seriously!! :) But I also have to remember, I am still a woman in amongst the other titles.

This past Friday, I managed to go with a friend just the two of us. We went shopping... Not for things for the children (although she did find things for her girls) but for ourselves. It was amazing!!! We were able to just amble along, stop where we wanted, browse around, try things on, and just chat...no kids, no diaper bags, no strollers, no one to have to make sure has gone potty, no on pulling on me or yelling "Momma." It was like a breath of fresh air - a sense of rejuvenation. I was able to hear my own thoughts and some of them I forgot I even had rolling around in there. :D

That night, Hubby and I met up with my shopping friend and her hubby for a dinner date. Dinner without kids is a rare experience and very much treasured. To be able to sit on the same side with hubby and sit snuggled with him waiting on friends and food was pure bliss. I was able to sit and savor my food without having to urge kids to eat or run them to the bathroom.

So, while my duties as mom and wife are foremost right now, I believe that I need to remind myself every so often that I am still a woman and need time to myself. Look in the mirror and say to that strong woman "Let go of the guilt, remember and enjoy who you are. You are a better wife and a better mom by taking care of the woman buried inside."