The Ride

Well, it started with dropping Elisabeth off at school. That in itself is pretty normal. But halfway home, I hear a loud bang followed but a continuous rumble. Thinking it is the semi-truck to my right, I continue on for a bit. But a few seconds later, I notice that the truck has exited the highway and I realize that it is my car making the noise. Pulling off, I confirm that I indeed have a flat tire.

I call W and tell him what has happened. He tells me to call AAA but when I do they tell me that I am not on his policy and they are unable to talk to me. When I him back, he assures me that he will call and make sure that someone is headed my way. I sit for about 15 minutes and then call to see the status. W says that it will be an hour to an hour and a half wait before AAA can get to me. Seriously?!?! It can't be that busy on a Monday morning after 8:00 am. Thankfully, W is thinking ahead of me and has called Owasso's finest to help me out. Grateful that there is a DVD player in the car to occupy the boys, we wait.

It isn't long before two kind uniformed men arrive. One attempts to extricate the tiny spare and other to get the jack to lift the vehicle. Both are unsuccessful. However, they have called a tow truck to take us to the tire store for a replacement. To the boys' delight, there wasn't room for all three of us in the tow truck... which put each of them in the front seat of a police car. Neither of the boys were frightened of being alone in the car without mom. So while mom rides in the big, bumpy tow truck, the boys get an up-close view of all the bells and whistles ... definitely something that they are still talking about and I am sure I will for some time.

Spring

I think spring is almost a state of mind as much as it is a season. The sky looks bluer, the clouds whiter and those tiny blades of grass pushing up thru the old dead brown stuff look even greener than they did last year. The trees are budding later this year but yet it feels exhilarating to have conquered such a hard winter.

This is the first spring in our new home and I love being able to send the kids out to the back yard and let them wear themselves out. I think we all sleep better after a few hours of romping in the cool spring air...even the dog!

It is my intent to soak it up and enjoy the sunshine and the warmth as much as I can. The kids are growing up so very fast and it seems like the apron strings are slipping through my fingers at such a fast rate that I feel the urge to hold onto them tighter. The last ten years have been focused on having them now it is time to just enjoy them.

I feel such a sense of pride as I watch them find their God given talents and how awesome they are. I just sit back and listen to them...really hear what they say and what they are interested in. Then it is up to me and W to carefully and gently cultivate those special talents. Just like a new little flower or tree sapling ... pushing up the the old dead grass.

Ahhh... spring isn't just a season.

Planet Mom

Once a woman sees that first positive sign in a pregnancy test and then nine months later a sweet baby is placed in her arms for the first time, she has immediately landed on a foreign planet ... a place called Planet Mom. It is a whole new and different world. A world to be explored and investigated yet it seems to swallow us whole. Almost as if it is a blackhole giving that woman a one way ticket. It isn't a bad thing unless it so consumes you to where you loose all sense of identity.

It isn't hard for a woman to distinguish between being a woman and a sister and/or daughter. Yet it begins to blur once you become married. You become a Mrs... Someones wife ... even though God designed marriage for you to become one, you tend to focus on the man you married and the dreams that you have as a couple or supporting your husband and his dreams, forgetting the woman that also once had dreams and goals.

Then once you think that you have mastered Planet Wife then you get propelled to that third planet...Planet Mom. A planet where life becomes almost chaotic at times. Juggling sleepless nights, diapers and potty training, meals, taxi service, laundry, cleaning, and still caring for and supporting the man that you married.

I am not saying that this is any way a bad life. In fact, it is very rewarding. I love seeing my husband happy and content, knowing that he is well cared for. That his laundry will always be done and his children are happy and healthy. They show their love for him by bombarding him at the door saying "PAPA'S HOME! I love you, Papa!!!!" I can see how he loved he feels as he scoops them up and loves on them.

My only thing is that I feel like I am stuck on Planet Mom and can see Planet Woman and Planet Wife in the distance. I am wondering how to combine them all three into one Planet. Planet Mom is important right now because my children are still very young and need my guidance on a daily basis. Planet Wife is very important. Without hubby, I would be nothing. He is my rock, my support, my confidante and my best friend. But Planet Woman hasn't even been visited in a very long time. I am not sure if any vegetation even grows there anymore. I am thinking it is very dry and dusty. I even think that the airline that once flew there has long since canceled its services to that location. How do I reach it? Are there any dreams still alive there? Are they dead or just dormant?

Anyone know of a way to combine Planet Mom, Planet Wife and Planet Woman? It takes all three to keep a good balance!!! Without one is like a trying to keep a three-legged stool from falling over. Whether or not you remain on Planet Woman, never taking the journey to Planet Wife or even Planet Mom. It is still a balancing act. Making sure that your Planet(s) revolves on an even keel.

Good luck to you ... And I am going to find an airline that will allow me to take a short expedition to Planet Woman and see if there is any life to the dreams that once resided there.

Mealtime

I feel like my life revolves around mealtime... Just as soon as I get one cleaned up it is time to start either planning or cooking the next one. Which that in itself is a challenge when trying to feed three kids with three completely different tastes.

For instance, I cook a kid-friendly meal of buffalo chicken strips with ranch and celery... Elisabeth would rather eat the chicken and celery... Max is just the opposite. He would rather eat the celery and skip the chicken. Ethan is just Ethan. He eats a little of both.

Will and I are trying hard to eat better and more healthy but are hearing protests from our children. This isn't easy for me...I really dislike cooking. I eat because it is necessary. Yeah, I realize that isn't the best example for my kids but it feels like a waste of time.

So... that being said... it is time to go fix lunch for two hungry boys.

Upkeep

My husband called me the other day to tell me thank you...Okay...What for??? For not being a high maintenance wife. Ummmm Okay. I guess that is a good thing. I wonder sometimes though. I tend to be last to take of me. However, I have to give said hubby credit. He did give me a clothes shopping trip for Valentine's Day. Problem is since it was still cold I got some sweaters and now it is getting warm and I need some clothes for the warmer weather. Plus he needs clothes too. Sheesh...of course with three kids, guaranteed one ore more of them needs something.

But I wonder...how do we know when to allow the spending of money to take care of ourselves? I mean, I buy my make-up at the Dollar Store and wonder why it doesn't stay on or look very well; I take vitamins and will buy the cheaper version but expect the same effect as the good ones; and feel guilty when I would like a haircut because I don't want to spend the money knowing that in a few weeks it will need to be cut again.

But shouldn't we learn to take care of ourselves as well? Where do we draw the line?? Where is the balance in making sure the kids have everything they need but yet not allowing ourselves what we need. We keep saying..."I will do it later when Child #1, #2, or #3 is taken care of." I am not sure that they will ever be completely taken care of. They will always need something esp as they start having more and more extra activities.

So, I continue to shop at the Dollar Store for makeup, buy the cheaper vitamins, wear the same clothes and underclothes until they are threadbare, and wait for the haircut until I am about ready to cut it myself.

Guess that is what they call Parenthood

Introspective

Been feeling a bit introspective lately... My husband would say that I have been in a funk but it isn't a bad mood. Feels more like I have turned inward and am evaluating myself. Finding the balance between motherhood, wifehood and womanhood. It is probably in part to a new year as well as having turned 40 this past birthday. I think sometimes women get lost in all the roles that we play and forget our true self. That woman made by God who has thoughts and dreams and ideas of our own.

So, I have been playing melancholy Celtic music and let the thoughts run rampant in my head... sorting them as such and trying to get them out into journals... hence my new blog.

Welcome to my journey of dealing with "life amid the butterflies and hotwheels.